The Hot Mommas Project Case Study Competition - Women in Business Balancing Work and Life

Shannon Short & Girls Get Real
MAJOR CATEGORY WINNER: Out of Hiding: Looking for Extraordinary in an Ordinary World

Now Playing Me

I looked at my life and thought, "This is a great life. I wonder whose role I'm playing." This wasn't the first or last time I'd ask myself this question. I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing, so why wasn't I happier? Eventually, I got it. I starred in the role I'd chosen in this great life, but on the inside, I knew it was only an act.

Today, I'm sitting here at my desk, the founder of Girls Get Real, and I can't believe it's real. No more trying to fit that darn square peg into the round hole. I sigh, and then, I freak out.

Leave my corporate job to become an entrepreneur? What was I thinking? Can I do this? How do I do this? If I'd known what was ahead, I might've made a different choice. And that would've been tragic. So while I squirm wildly in the heart of my discomfort zone, at least I know who I am and why I'm here.

If I'd Known Then What I Know Now

Until I was 29, I pretty much did life the way it was "supposed" to be done. I kind of went blindly, but it all seemed to be working itself out. And I learned a lot a long the way.

I was a normal kid who did normal kid stuff. I took ballet and tap, competed in gymnastics, swimming and diving, and played the clarinet, to name a few. I was pretty good at most of them but not the best at any. Eventually, I quit them all, and that made me a quitter.

When I recounted this story to an acquaintance recently, without hesitation, she sprung a new perspective on me. She said, "Could it be that you weren't a quitter but that you were already questioning the norm? That you were simply trying to define yourself, even at that young age, based on the things that weren't working for you? Maybe you were having little aha moments even then and you just didn't know it." If I'd only known then what I know now.

As I entered adulthood, I continued to model my life on the way things were "supposed" to be, with no real guidance except what I knew to be the "normal" timeline of life. College, corporate job, big city, rat race – check, check, check, check. The timeline told me what to do and when, but I was missing someone or something to help me make sense of the stuff happening between the lines. You know that space where you discover the "who" and "why" of life. A little guidance here would've been nice, even one person to peak my curiosity, invest in me, and give me permission to look outside the box.

A Little Curiosity (and One Really Amazing Boss) Goes a Long Way

After two and a half years at BellSouth, I had a good paycheck, great benefits, amazing co-workers, work I hated and a difficult boss, and I was seriously considering quitting. Then, I had this conversation with my father:

Me: "I hate my job. I'm so unhappy. I want to leave."

Daddy: "Shan, work isn't there to make you happy. It's there to make you a living."

I didn't leave my job, but I did get a new boss.

Don was an amazing man who was not only my boss but also my cheerleader, my guide and my friend. Don opened my eyes to the idea that I could make things happen for myself and that those things could be whatever I wanted them to be. He taught me I didn't necessarily have to accept the status quo and made me curious about what would work for me personally. What a freeing perspective.

I was relieved to know that maybe I wasn't crazy after all. And maybe it wasn't the norm, but if I was going to sit behind a desk and stare at a computer 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I wanted to enjoy what I was doing and feel like my contribution actually mattered. I don't know if Don even knew how much he was teaching me. I'm not sure I knew then either, but I know now that while Don changed my thinking he also planted a seed of curiosity that would change my life. I'll never be sure if I was questioning the norm as a kid, but I definitely began questioning it now.

In late 1991, Don retired and I moved on to another department. For two more years, I continued to stretch my curiosity and my confidence in challenging the status quo. Then, five days after my 29^th birthday, I moved to Vail, Colorado and started year one of a three-year sabbatical from the corporate world.

Who Says It's Not the Real World

You definitely weren't going to find "take a sabbatical from corporate job and move to Colorado to be a ski bum" anywhere on that "normal" timeline. Let's just say the flood gates for my questioning the norm were wide open. Most of the world doesn't know what to do with people who question the norm. In Vail, everything questions the norm. I was right where I belonged.

Visitors to Vail would say, "This isn't the real world." I would simply reply, "The real world is wherever you are and whatever you live every day. So this may not be the real world to you, but it is real to me." And then I would just smile.

Vail is the place where I found my soul. I felt more alive and more real in Vail than I had felt anywhere at anytime in my life. This was when my suspicions were confirmed. I wasn't designed for "normal".

This Girl Got Real

I went back to my job at the end of my sabbatical. Over the course of the next 12 years, I fell back into some old patterns, but I was a changed person and the new me wasn't going to settled for normal any more. I watched friends leave for greener pastures, many with hefty severance packages. Every time that opportunity presented itself I thought "maybe this time." Each time my papers were signed and ready to fax, just in case, but it was never time. More opportunities passed taking more friends with them. I knew it was time to get serious about figuring out what I wanted to do when I grew up, so I could get the heck out of dodge.

In October, 2007, I attended Life Coach Training through CoachU. Two months later, I invested in a friend's company, DwellSmart. In November, 2008, I raised my hand to leave AT&T, and on December 28, 2008, I left the corporate world for good. Almost one year later, after a lot of processing, adjusting and way overanalyzing, I started Girls Get Real.

Girls Get Real in Epic Proportions

My passion for Girls Get Real (GGR) is to help other normal girls like me learn early they don't have to settle for status quo, they can reach for the stars, and it's better to fail than to simply never try. I've lived this story. I know it backwards and forwards, and I want to share it on huge scale. I can't do this alone, but before I can grow it, I need two things: a clear message in a format that others can share, and a Girls Get Real brand -- not just a name -- that girls (and their parents, colleges, etc.) everywhere will trust and crave.

I find myself saying I don't know where to begin, though I do have some ideas. I also get caught in overwhelm, which makes it very hard to focus and actually take action. I need help figuring out how to manage these issues in order to achieve the GGR mission for the good of normal girls everywhere.

Real Me, Extraordinaire

I've spent much of my life getting to know myself. I have a keen self-awareness and great wisdom about choice, emotions, perspective, keeping a positive attitude and more. I have confidently answered the question "Who am I," and now, I want to create a life that honors that true self. All of my wisdom has helped me tremendously as I've been living in survival mode, but the truest me won't settle for survival. I want to thrive and need to figure out how to pour the wisdom that helped me survive into creating a life in which I thrive, completely and authentically.

As usual, I have all the pieces of the story. Now, I just need to make them fit together in a way that honors me personally and allows me to fulfill my BIG vision for Girls Get Real. So I ask you, "What's next? And could it be that, just maybe, I'm getting in my own way?"

Question 1	How did Shannon's world open up when she got a new boss who taught her a different way of thinking? How do you think Shannon’s timeline might have turned out differently if she had had more manager’s like Don? What if she hadn't met Don who helped her change her thinking about what she should and could strive for in life?
Question 2	Do you agree with Shannon's father that work is there not to make you happy but to make you a living? What would you have done in Shannon's shoes? Stayed at your job? Quit? Gathered more information? Why do you think Shannon continued to stay at her job even though it never really fit? Should she have gone back after the sabbatical? Why do you think Shannon stayed at BellSouth for so long even though she kept getting signs it wasn't a good fit?
Question 3	What do you think changed that finally made Shannon turn in her papers and raise her hand to leave the comfort of her corporate job to go to the risky world of starting her own business? Was that a smart move? Do you think she was prepared to leave and go out on her own? Research starting your own business and suggest three things Shannon scould've done to be better prepared for starting her own business.
Question 4	What does Shannon's story say about the importance of good management in a company? What could Shannon's managers have done differently to better support her in her career path? Research and see what companies offer as support, i.e. coaching, training, etc.
Question 5	What are three ways Shannon can use her wisdom to help her move from surviving to thriving? Is there wisdom you think she still has yet to learn that will help her thrive? Do you see any common themes running throughout Shannon's timeline? If so, what and why do you think these themes stayed so consistent?

Notes

Possible chapters relevant to this case study: Management, Coaching, Mentoring, Entrepreneurship
--
Shannon's time line to getting real:
* By age.

• 20 – aha about choices and how my very own choices are about 99.9% responsible for how my life goes; this aha is the one that involved California Boy (CB). To make a long story short, I was late for class one hot muggy day at UGA, but I had seen CB walking a certain route one day and so I decided this was the day I needed to take that route in hopes of running into him. I got to class late, hot and sweaty and frustrated. You guess it. No sighting of CB. I had made that decision and gone out of my way based on the  fact that I had seen him on that route only once before. I couldn’t believe I had made a choice that would l make things so much more complicated for myself simply because I was so desperate to run into this guy. Nuff said, Never happened again. Next time, I just sat out on my balcony and waited for him to drive into the apartment complex where we lived.?
• 22 – started work at BellSouth; read Feel The Fear, learned about fear and that it can show up even in the tiny places and influence my choices in a big way
• 25 – wanted to quit my job after just 2 ½ years, was so unhappy, daddy said work was not there to make me happy but to make me a living; don’t know if I believed him but didn’t quit my job. Think I decided then that this was just the way it was supposed to be and I guessed that was the way it was supposed to be for me too.
• Before I turned 26, got a new boss - Thinking started changing when I started working for a Don and he took a real interest in me, what I had to offer and what I wanted out of at least my job. He taught me I didn’t necessarily have to accept the status quo and I became curious about what would work for me personally.  
• 27 – changed jobs and learned that, if I don’t’ know what I want, making choices on what I don’t want is another great strategy; worked for Dennis who pushed back but allowed me to be my own person and have my own opinions; challenged Norm to accept my document the way I had written it and see if it would fly instead of changing things just because I didn’t do them the way they had always been done. He used my lesson on personal writing style when working with others after that.
• 27 (Dec 91) – only a couple of months after starting my new job, went to Colorado for the first time and my world opened up
• 28 – again started feeling dissatisfied and seriously contemplating leaving BellSouth; then, in early 1993, BellSouth announced a sabbatical program for which I was eligible. I immediately applied for the one year minimum leave and was approved. This meant I didn’t have to quit my job, which was a pretty scary concept, but that I could take some time off and try to figure some things out about what I wanted. I had my benefits while I was on leave and was guaranteed a job at my same level when I returned. My plan was to move to Vail, CO for the ski season and then go backpacking Europe for the remaining six months.
• 29 – 4 days after my 29th birthday, I started my sabbatical and moved to Vail, Colorado. After only three months in Vail, I blew out my knee, had surgery less than a month later and began recovery. I decided it wasn’t such a good idea to go backpacking through Europe with a bum knee, so I went on a two week road trip around the Western US instead.  I spent the remainder of my first year in Vail. About 11 months into my first year, I applied to BellSouth to extend my leave for two more years to the maximum three years. I was approved.
• 30 – In Spring of 1995, I took that trip to Europe, spent the first month with friends and the second month solo.
• 31 – took another road trip around Western US, this time three weeks. That was an amazing trip and I’ll share it with you sometime if we ever meet in person.
• 32 – sabbatical came to an end, and 4 days after my 32nd birthday, I drove out of Vail and reluctantly returned to Atlanta and my job at BellSouth.
• 33 – I found a job that was a perfect fit with a perfect boss and great team. For the first time, I was actually excited to get up and go into the office.
• 34 – perfect boss left, awful boss moved in, started looking for a new position
• 35 – promoted to new job, no structure or real definition for this brand new position so it was a great opportunity, job went down hill fast due to a very challenging boss and lack of direction on how to develop my job. This made it very difficult to set commitments and meet expectations.
• 36 – started Masters in Education program
• 39 – Upon returning to work after Christmas holidays, my boss informed me my job was being eliminated. I thought maybe this was God’s way of pushing me out of the nest. Decided to take severance and leave the company. Ended up taking a position at the 11th hour. Moved to new position. Loved it but couldn’t measure my value. Had good bosses and bad bosses.
• 41 – got promoted to Marketing, finally!  Then, 6 months later, company was bought. Moved into a position that was a terrible fit job wise but offered other benefits. Always good to look for the silver lining.
• 42 (Oct 2007) – went to life coach training
• 43 (Dec 2007) – invested in DwellSmart
• 43 (June 2008) – considered another severance package offer; not time yet
• 43 (October 2008) – rumors of another layoff, decision time. Had been preparing for this over the last year with Coach training and investment in DwellSmart. Was also preparing financially. I was ready. Had decided what I wanted to do when I grew up - life coaching to help girls not do life the way I had done it but to be more true to themselves from the start. Prayed. Talked to my Dad. Listened to my gut. Had no doubt it was time. Could be ignorance was bliss b/c if I'd really thought about what it really meant to go out on my own, I may not have had the guts to do it.
• 44 (November 2008) – raised my hand for th

Links to sites relevant to your case

1	Girls Get Real
2	GGR Network
3	DwellSmart
4	Life Coach Training
5	AT&T

Your typical daily schedule

From	To	Doing What	Business/Personal
8:00am	8:00am	Breakfast/ Walk Dog	Personal
9:30am	9:30am	Work	Business
12:30pm	12:30pm	Lunch	Personal
1:00pm	1:00pm	Work	Business

Question 1	How did Shannon's world open up when she got a new boss who taught her a different way of thinking? How do you think Shannon’s timeline might have turned out differently if she had had more manager’s like Don? What if she hadn't met Don who helped her change her thinking about what she should and could strive for in life?
Note 1	This shows the importance of having a mentor and a guide to cheer you on and to show you viewpoints you haven't considered before. If it hadn't been for Don, I wouldn't have had the courage to seek out a new position. i didn't know what I wanted to do but I knew what i didn't want to do. I started there. The seed of curiosity planted by Don opened up my entire world to new possibility.
Question 2	Do you agree with Shannon's father that work is there not to make you happy but to make you a living? What would you have done in Shannon's shoes? Stayed at your job? Quit? Gathered more information? Why do you think Shannon continued to stay at her job even though it never really fit? Should she have gone back after the sabbatical? Why do you think Shannon stayed at BellSouth for so long even though she kept getting signs it wasn't a good fit?
Note 2	That comment from my father also changed my direction. I created a belief that I had better stay at my job, that I would never find a job as good as the one I had. Eventually, that belief turned into self doubt and the question of whether or not anyone outside my current company would hire me at all.I stayed because it never got painful enough. BellSouth took great care of its employees. I made great money, had great medical benefits, and plenty of vacation and freedom. And they let me take two sabbaticals - one for three years! If I was going to leave, it had to be for something completely different. I wasn't willing to take the chances of leaving when I had it so good in so many ways. And I just couldn't believe that a company the size of BellSouth didn't have a job that could make me happy too. Once BellSouth became AT&T, things changed dramatically. AT&T had a very different culture that didn't seem to care so much about taking care of their employees. Not to mention, the benefits under AT&T were not nearly as good as with BellSouth. The pain started sneaking in!
Question 3	What do you think changed that finally made Shannon turn in her papers and raise her hand to leave the comfort of her corporate job to go to the risky world of starting her own business? Was that a smart move? Do you think she was prepared to leave and go out on her own? Research starting your own business and suggest three things Shannon scould've done to be better prepared for starting her own business.
Note 3	I just want to get them thinking about the difference between working for someone else and working for themselves. I also want them to consider the balance between head and heart when it comes to choosing a career and their own direction.
Question 4	What does Shannon's story say about the importance of good management in a company? What could Shannon's managers have done differently to better support her in her career path? Research and see what companies offer as support, i.e. coaching, training, etc.
Note 4	This can open discussion to why people stay in jobs even if they don't really make them happy or fulfilled.
Question 5	What are three ways Shannon can use her wisdom to help her move from surviving to thriving? Is there wisdom you think she still has yet to learn that will help her thrive? Do you see any common themes running throughout Shannon's timeline? If so, what and why do you think these themes stayed so consistent?
Note 5	I pointed out that I already had the wisdom but the challenge is taking that wisdom and applying it in a totally different situation that involves new fears, old fears resurfaced, etc. Themes will help them think about why we stay stuck and what it takes to move out of old habits and comfort zones.

Permalink