Introduction
“So what do you want to be when you grow up?” My parents’ friends used to ask me all the time.
I was so shy and fearful that I didn’t talk much as a little girl. I used to smile at them instead of answering. Deep inside, I kept the answer to myself as if I knew that if I’d say it, I wouldn’t be able to achieve my dream. I was right. I remember the first time I talked to my mother about my dream of wanting to become a writer.
“That is not a real profession, it is only a hobby, writers don’t make money. What I want for you is to get married with a nice man, a millionaire that can support you in every way and provide for all your needs so that you can have a beautiful home with some wonderful children.”
From then on, my life drastically changed. The only important thing was to favor my mother’s dream, at the same time that mine started to fade away until I completely forgot about it.
Background
For many years, my mother’s dream was the one that I lived trying to convince myself that it was my own. After I went to college I did get married with a millionaire, had a beautiful home, two wonderful daughters and so much more. But as I had completely forgotten about my “real” dream I couldn’t find peace of mind or even worse, “peace of heart.” I didn’t know why I felt so empty if according to societal standards I was one that “had it all.” I even felt ashamed and full of guilt as I just couldn’t conform.
A very difficult marriage were there wasn’t any love, my addiction to alcohol and my permanent unhappiness took me to the first and last attempt against my own life. The day after I tried to kill myself I knew that life had given me a last opportunity. Since then, I promised myself I wouldn’t stop until I would find my childhood dream and my life’s purpose. My first “aha” moment came soon after that when in 2000, twenty five years later of feeling my dream for the last time, I finally decided to change my life, ask for divorce, regain my power and strength, and do everything possible that would take me back to that elusive dream, which still remained hidden in who knows what corner of my heart covered with so many layers of pain and sorrow.
The road wasn’t an easy one as I really didn’t know what I was looking for. All I knew is that it felt really good to be searching for that unknown piece of the puzzle that I had lost somewhere back in time. So I went back to college and not only did I study one master’s degree but two. Many projects and plans kept me motivated during this time, and even though none of those ended up taking me to my childhood dream, they certainly helped me to learn about patience, persistence and perseverance. These three virtues would support me immensely soon after when life decided I was ready to “lose it all to gain it all.” From 2000 until 2008 my life was the most amazing lesson in humility and surrender. It was a slow awakening but now that I can look back, I would do it all over again just the way it happened.
Professional issue
Life knew what I was looking for even if I was totally unaware of its plans, and thank goodness I didn’t know them because my wounded ego would most probably have said no to them. In order for me to remember that dream of mine, I ended up losing my daughters, home, savings, job and all that which at that time I thought made me the person I was. Around March 2009, seeing that I couldn’t find a new job, that I was homeless and that I was merely surviving thanks to the help of my siblings, I had my second “aha” moment which finally led me to the dream I had abandoned as a child not knowing it would take so much pain and sacrifice to bring it back. There I was that morning at my sister’s house, hoping for things to change, when all of a sudden this idea about writing came to me. Deep in my mind I heard the question clearly.
“Why don’t you start writing a book? You’ve always wanted to write about your life.”
That was all I needed. The next thing, I was buying a few notebooks, some pencils, preparing my laptop and planning my next few days just as if I had found a new job! I was so excited, I felt like the little girl who had recovered her most precious possession. From then on, I forgot all about my current difficult circumstances because all I wanted to focus on was the story I had begun writing. I didn’t stop until I finished. For the first time, I experienced what true passion and enthusiasm felt like. I had struggled so much to finally come to this moment where I felt as the most fortunate person in the world. At last, life had brought me back to my childhood dream. I had found the lost treasure. Since then, I haven’t stopped writing; that is, doing what I love.
Personal issue
I had to let go of all that which didn’t belong to me so that I could finally discover what was my true purpose. The results have been an exciting new writing career that has produced already two books of an ongoing trilogy (first book an Amazon best-seller) and a wonderful new way of helping others to heal through my own personal journey. This is where professional and personal becomes one. As I see life after all I have learned these last twelve years, I believe that our work should be a personal matter, something that we equally love, just as we love our families, friends and holidays. This is how all the people that have succeeded throughout humanity’s history have thought about what they do for a living: they love what they do so much that it simply becomes life itself and not only a “job.” I feel that this is what is happening to me since I remembered my childhood dream and I have been able to make it come true. And you want to know what’s best? Since I got in tune with my dream and I am willing to follow it no matter what, there is this invisible force that always brings to me all that I need to continue making it grow. Don’t you think that living the dream is what we came here for?